Friday, December 18, 2009

Abuse ... and abuse

I detest men who treat women as (sex) objects, as servants, as pawns.  I detest men -- and women -- whose behavior illustrates that spousal abuse does not have to be physical to cause great harm.

A card from a friend, received today, shared the sad news.  A mutual friend was caught embezzling, perhaps as much as $500,000, from her employer of more than 20 years.   This isn't the first time; last time it was a different employer and over a much shorter period.

She doesn't do it for herself.  She does it because she is incapable of saying "No." to her husband.  She admits that she created a monster by catering to his every whim.  It's more than just money.  He doesn't help around the house.  He doesn't provide the tools to do the tasks that needed doing.  One day Ray caught her trying to shovel snow off her front steps -- with a boat oar.   For most of their marriage, Hubby made a minimal contribution to the household finances.  Yes, he did have a responsible, good-paying job for a few years.  Now he is disabled.  The disability could have been prevented; he didn't take the action necessary  for prevention.  Their relationship is not a partnership with give-and-take on both sides.  She does all the giving, and always has.  Thank goodness they never had children.

My friend is a sweet, intelligent woman.   Unless one knows the circumstances of her personal life, she is the last person you'd expect to steal anything.  Those who care about her believed she had learned from previous experience.  It's hard to learn that she didn't.  

Pray for my friend.  Call her Liz.  Pray for all victims of emotional or verbal abuse from partner or parent.  ...

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